I’m taking my grandma out on Tuesday and was talking to my mum saying im so busy next week and not feeling it and she said that I need to make an affort bc she’s getting on now. This depressed me I couldn’t imagine my life without her, I want her to see me get married and maybe have a great grandchild for her. But she’s 70 now and I don’t see myself having children so soon, it’s such a shame 😦 I don’t think I have any motherly instincts and my boyfriend already has a child with his ex fiancé. I just want her to know I’m going to do something with my life and I messed up the chances of going to university this year unfortunately so I’ve started my application for 2018 entry instead. This has set off my anxiety for the future now I’m actually so scared of ending up on universal credit again and having no money.

So I have work today, so not looking forward to it… 6 hours in hospital no thank you…. hopefully they bring in an extra member of staff.
My iPhone is still being temperamental with the charging but it seems to be working. Would cost me £35 for charging port to be replaced but then I don’t know if it’s effected the battery aswell. I could buy a new phone but I’m happy with the one I have now 😦 and still have around a year warranty left on it shame it doesn’t include water damage. 

I just bought some nicotine 24 hour patches on sale for £8 from Superdrug.com aswell as some rose gold foil eyeshadow. I might just try giving up smoking or trying to reduce them. I’m smoking around 10-15 a day at the moment I have cut down quite a bit. I can go 4 hours without one if I want to. Apart from after eating and yknow ehehe. 
I really need to get my hair cut the layers are different lengths now. But I don’t want to spend any money until I know what’s going on with my phone. I’m going to try and sleep again now bc work.
Awake now and we have extra staff at work but still doing 6 hours each 😦 going to be a long night! 


Also this is stubby my boyfriend blue tongue skink. He’s adorable!


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